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It is my plan to become
emperor of the Northern Hemisphere. Most people make the mistake of trying
to take over the whole world. |
| Incompetencey
Law (Codus
Rogerus Section 1) No one who is incompetent is allowed to sue anyone else. If you bring a suit against someone the defense can present evidence that you are incompetent. If a jury of 12 peers (competent ones that is) find you incompetent then you forfeit the case. Upon forfeiture you must pay all legal fees for the other side. This law will prevent people from cleaning their ears with a power drill and then suing the power drill manufacturer, the power company, and the makers of Q-tip for not having a label on their products that say, "Waning do not attach a q-tip to this power drill and stick it in your ear". When jurors are chosen any people who have been proven to be legally incompetent in the past must be excused. The defendants may also present a simple competency test, with the approval of the judge, to remove incompetent jurors. |
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| Lawsuit
Damages (Codus Rogerus Section 2) Lawsuits for damages. The one at fault must pay all legal fees. The victim will get enough money to take care of them for the rest of their life with no loss of standard of living. The rest, which is usually a lot in punitive damages, goes to charity. |
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| The
Insanity Act (Codus Rogerus Section 3) In order to use the insanity plea (that is to say not guilty due to the fact you did not know what you were doing when you did it) you must first plead guilty. THEN the jury will rule if you were insane or not. If they find you insane then you will receive what treatment the jury deemed correct. If they find you sane then you must serve the sentience. You must confess first! |
| Soft
Drink Size (Truth in Foods Act Sec 1) Soft drink sizes are to be standardized. Small 8oz Medium 10oz. Regular 12oz. Large 24oz. X-Large 32oz.above 32oz. you can call the drink whatever you want (super gulp etc.) Repeal: The Truth in Foods Act Sec. 1 may be dropped due to capitalism at work. Have you noticed that drink sizes at fast food places have gotten bigger recently? The medium is enuf for most people. Now if they would just make the shakes the same size |
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| Chocolate
Chip Cookies Act (Truth in Food Act Sec. 2) All cookies which look like chocolate chip cookies but are not (raisin cookies etc.) must be clearly labeled 'not a chocolate chip cookie' This does not mean you have to label all the cookies just note that they are not chocolate chip. |
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| Raisin Free Act (Truth in Food Act Sec. 3) All places which sell cinnamon rolls or similar products (muffins etc) containing raisins must also carry such products without raisins. | |
| Chocolate Labels (Truth in Food Act Sec. 4) All chocolate boxes which contain a variety of chocolates must also contain a listing of which chocolate is which | |
| Pizza Cost Defined (Truth in Food Act Sec. 5) All pizza prices are to incorporate the cost of 2 toppings (cheese is not a topping, extra cheese is) | |
| Food
Names (Truth in Food Act Sec. 6) Food names are to be accurate descriptions of the product. (For example: Potatoe soup would be primarily made from potatoes and a cream soup base. Soup, which was made from equal portions of, base, potatoes, and celery, would have to be labeled 'Potatoe and Celery Soup' |
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| Food
Display Signs Act
(Truth in Foods Act Section 7) Places, which sell food by listing in on a display (such as ice cream stores) must remove the label listing any product, which is not available, or place a sign on it noting that they are sold out. |
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| Dead
Animals (Truth
in Food Act Sec. 23 (it was a rider)) You can not will things to your pets, animals. You can will it to a person and state that they must take care of your pet. If you break this rule the money is given to a random orphan. Exemption: you can will pet supplies to your pet. Section 24: Animals are objects, if someone kills one you get the cost to replace the object no emotional damages. |
| Portable
Defined (Definition Act Sec. 1) Portable Shall be Defined as: Able to be easily carried by the purchaser |
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| Free
Defined (Definition Act Sec. 2) Free is defined as: Costs nothing. People may legally walk away with anything listed as 'Free'. There are no conditions on free. (For example if a TV is listed as Free with any purchase of a car then a person could walk up to the TV and take it home.) 'Frei' shall be used to denote conditional 'free' items. When spoken frei shall be pronounced "fr-eeeeeee". |
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| Free
Offers Ban (Definitions Act Sec 2b) Free offers are illegal see Free above. Frei offers, which are good for a short time, expire after that period of time passes. All services are canceled. Those offering the service may not continue to provide the service at a cost without the expressed written consent of the customer. (For example if a newspaper offers a frei subscription for one month they must deliver the paper for free for one month. At the end of the month the paper can not be delivered for any cost) This means that frei services can be used to let the customer know of their benefits but not as a scheme to get them to continue with the service at a cost. Penalty: the service must be continued for free for the period of one year. |
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| Adult
Fees (Definition Act Sec.3) Adult shall be defined as: One who has legally attained 18 years of age. All products or fees noted as for adults (i.e. movie tickets or amusement park admission) are to be for such adults. (For example: A park can not charge adult admission prices for all people over 48", only for those over 18) Of course parks can charge 'short' and 'tall' prices. |
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| Homemade
(Definitions Act Sec.4) Homemade means made at home. Bed and Breakfasts will be exempt. Restaurants can not make homemade foods because they are not a home they are a restaurant. |
| Books
Act All non-fictional books are required to have an index. You may not index on the word 'the' |
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| Free
Reply Mail Act If the government requires you to mail them something there is no postage fee. If a private citizen (singular) is corresponding with his representative government there is no postage fee. |
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| 1/60th
Act You can not be compelled to divide time into hundredths |
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| Esc
Act The esc key must allow you to escape |
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| Spare
Tire Act All new cars must come with a spare tire the equivalent of the regular tires on the car. |
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| Truth
in Pricing Act All prices listed for consumers must incorporate all taxes and additional fees.(For example a six pack of soda includes CA redemption value. Rebates do not affect the listed price. (For example a TV which costs $300 and comes with a $50 rebate would be listed as $300 not $250 'with rebate') Penalty-Consumer receives double the unlisted fee if purchased or the unlisted fee if reported. In the above example the consumer would receive $50 x2 or $100 if they purchased the TV or $50 if they reported the offense. |
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| Legal
Paper Act All office paper shall be a variant of letter size. |
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| Water
Availability Act If a member of the restaurant staff seats you for dinner, at a restaurant, you are to be served water shortly after being seated. |
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| Toy
Guns Control Act Toy guns may look just like real guns except they will have an orange tab over the front of the barrel. If anyone tries to commit a crime by using a toy gun as a real gun the penalty will be the same as if they used a real gun. If anyone makes a real gun look like a toy gun in this manner they must spend 30 years making toy guns while in prison in addition to any other criminal punishments they may have to serve. |
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| Phone
Sales Act All phone numbers are to have a solicitation ban. If you wish to get phone solicitations you may request to be removed from this default position for 1 year at a time. Email solicitaion will follow the same rule. |
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| Room
Lighting Act Every room in a house, at the time of construction, must have a light fixture on the ceiling. |